A Modest Proposal to Increase Productivity
I recently spent a week staying with a married friend of mine who has several children. During my visit, I made it a point to observe the dynamic of his family, to appease my own curiosity on the subject. What I found was quite eye-opening.
For starters, the parents are two very productive members of society. They work, pay taxes, and own their own home (on which they pay more taxes). They even vote in local elections. They also mow their lawn on Sunday. But these two hard-working, productive members of society have three little remoras who seem to have attached themselves like inveterate leeches to the supple underbelly of their parents productive faculty.
The entire time that I was at my friend's house, I didn't see these tiny little bundles of laziness do anything besides eat, watch television, and color in Donald in old Disney coloring books. I did not see them work, pay taxes, own homes, or vote. Given, they don't currently have the right to vote, but that didn't stop women's suffrage. I bet Susan B. Anthony was a very productive woman in her own right.
Every time I watched these three children sitting transfixed in front of the television for hours on end, I couldn't help but think, "Why couldn't they be stitching low-quality leather wallets for some cost-cutting corporation right now?" All of that latent productivity, just going to waste. There are Nike shoes to be made, just waiting to be assembled by the agile hands of youth. The Kathy Lee collection does not just make itself. If these wastrels won't voluntarily be productive with their time, it is in their best interests that they be put to work.
Whenever I see news stories decrying child-labor sweatshops in Malaysia, hyping up the cruelty and abuse, showing pictures of crowded workshops full to the brim with tiny Asian children, I don't feel pangs at the loss of innocence and youth, I feel respect for the high volume of products that are currently being exported to the U.S. Those little children are making our economy stronger. They must have a productive work ethic to reach their daily quotas despite lousy conditions and half-rations of rice.
Perhaps we should take a cue from our good friends in Malaysia. Laziness should not be rewarded, but met with a strong opposing force of child labor. Please, for the sake of America, write your congressman. It's time for a change.
For starters, the parents are two very productive members of society. They work, pay taxes, and own their own home (on which they pay more taxes). They even vote in local elections. They also mow their lawn on Sunday. But these two hard-working, productive members of society have three little remoras who seem to have attached themselves like inveterate leeches to the supple underbelly of their parents productive faculty.
The entire time that I was at my friend's house, I didn't see these tiny little bundles of laziness do anything besides eat, watch television, and color in Donald in old Disney coloring books. I did not see them work, pay taxes, own homes, or vote. Given, they don't currently have the right to vote, but that didn't stop women's suffrage. I bet Susan B. Anthony was a very productive woman in her own right.
Every time I watched these three children sitting transfixed in front of the television for hours on end, I couldn't help but think, "Why couldn't they be stitching low-quality leather wallets for some cost-cutting corporation right now?" All of that latent productivity, just going to waste. There are Nike shoes to be made, just waiting to be assembled by the agile hands of youth. The Kathy Lee collection does not just make itself. If these wastrels won't voluntarily be productive with their time, it is in their best interests that they be put to work.
Whenever I see news stories decrying child-labor sweatshops in Malaysia, hyping up the cruelty and abuse, showing pictures of crowded workshops full to the brim with tiny Asian children, I don't feel pangs at the loss of innocence and youth, I feel respect for the high volume of products that are currently being exported to the U.S. Those little children are making our economy stronger. They must have a productive work ethic to reach their daily quotas despite lousy conditions and half-rations of rice.
Perhaps we should take a cue from our good friends in Malaysia. Laziness should not be rewarded, but met with a strong opposing force of child labor. Please, for the sake of America, write your congressman. It's time for a change.
posted by Elijah at
8:04 AM
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