The (Rotten) Core

Now, this could be all too easy. Tearing apart a movie like The Core would be about as difficult as tripping a blind man with Parkinson's. But I don't like things that are that easy. Instead, I shall take a different view altogether of The Core, starting from the orientation of a very well known name in psychology. Our good friend Sigmund Freud would have had a field day with The Core, for reasons which shall be come exceedingly obvious.

To begin with, the movie is named The Core. This is a clear sexual reference. The hot, liquidy, pulsating core of the planet is experiencing difficulties in maintaining its constant spin, and needs a good "explosion" to set it back to rights. This can only be delivered by a long (phallic) drilling rocket full of "seeds of destruction" (WMDs) that will be injected into the very core of the planet before being detonated. Sound familiar? Seventh grade sex education familiar, perhaps?

For further proof, examine the manner in which the drill enters the earth's crust. As it is plunging through thousands of feet of water to a place where "the crust is thin", the earth begins trembling with seismic activity, splitting open its crust and spreading its proverbial legs. Finally after the tension has built sufficiently, and the drill rocket is spinning faster and faster down towards the crust (punctuated by a man in the rocket screaming "Do it!" (no joke)), the rocket fires its little laser heat blaster at the crust, liquefying it for easy entry. Good God.

I can't go on. This movie screams "Bad Idea!" louder than wolves in a nursery. It hurts my head to even try to comprehend its badness. Please don't watch this movie.